If you’ve tried meditation, mind-expanding drugs, and motivational seminars but still don’t have that warm, fuzzy feeling of joy in your life, don’t despair. Erasmus Caffery is here to share the ancient secret of Fonging.

The truth was revealed to him in a dream by a slightly frustrated angel who explains that “Fonging shows that hilarity is sacred.” You’d expect to pay hundreds or even thousands of dollars for a retreat at which this sort of enlightenment is promised, yes? Put away your debit card! For the low, low price of a slim paperback book, you can possess Fonging for the Soul and all the wisdom contained therein.

Fonging does not require special clothing, tools, or physical agility. You can fong with common items found in any home. You can fong indoors or outside, with friends of any age, at any time of the day or night. It sounds too good to be true, but this time the product more than lives up to its hype.

So what is fonging, you ask, and how do I get in on the movement? Very simple. Attach your oven rack to strings, wrap the strings around your fingers, then stick your fingers in your ears. Have the members of your preferred group tap on the rack with kitchen utensils, pens, automotive tools, whatever, and listen to the primal sound of the Universe.

Once you have mastered the basics of fonging, you’ll no doubt want to explore more advanced applications. In Fonging for the Soul, you will find clear instructions for ramping up your fong practice, with helpful tips about the rack, the strings, the instruments, fong etiquette, and safe fonging.

The very simplicity of fonging lends credence to the theory that it is THE path to perfection. Once you’ve tried it for yourself, you’ll want to share your testimony with everyone – co-workers (during those deadly conference calls), in-laws (it beats talking to them), and even friends (get closer than you ever imagined). This book really can change your life!